Eris and the Discordians
by David M.
Fitzpatrick
Last updated
Tuesday, 30 August 2005
Note: I'm working on a
Discordian Web site, which I'll have up soon.
I'm an Atheist, yet I am a loyal follower
of the goddess Eris. I am a Discordian. The Discordian equivalent of the
Xian Bible, the Principia Discordia, tells me all I need to know to worship
Eris and follow this religion.
HUH? How, you may wonder, can an Atheist
worship a goddess?
Let me explain.
Who Is Eris?
The daughter of Zeus and Hera, Eris
is the Greek goddess of discord and confusion. Her name means "strife." She
is often said to to be the twin sister of Ares, god of war, and was known to
hang with him. (For those of you keeping score with the Roman equivalents,
Eris was known as Discordia, Zeus as Jove or Jupiter, Hera as Juno, and Ares
as Mars.)
Eris was not known for being a particularly
pleasant person, as her sphere of influence suggests. In fact, her own
actions are reputedly responsible for starting the Trojan War. The story
goes that at the wedding of Thetis and Peleus, most of the Olympian gods
were invited, including Athena and Aphrodite. Eris was left off the
invitation list because of her penchant for causing trouble. This displeased
her greatly, so of course she showed up at the party anyway.
She was armed, though. She brought with her
a golden apple inscribed with the Greek word "Kallisti," which means "for
the most beautiful one," and tossed it into their midst. The goddesses began
fighting over the apple (particularly Athena and Aphrodite) and soon enough
things were out of control. In order to settle the argument, Paris, Prince
of Troy, was chosen to decide which goddess got the apple.
Naturally, the goddesses all tried bribing
Paris. Hera offered him political power. Athena offered him great skill in
battle. Aphrodite offered him the most beautiful woman in the world. As any
good man with raging hormones would be expected to do, Paris chose
Aphrodite's offer and awarded her the golden apple.
The most beautiful woman was Helen of Troy,
wife of Menelaus of Sparta. You can see where the war came from.
What is Discordianism?
Discordianism is a religion disguised as a
joke. Or maybe a joke disguised as a religion. Or a joke disguised as a
religion disguised as a joke... or a religion disguised as a joke disguised
as a religion...
In reality, Discordianism is the rejection
of religion, and achieves this through clever satire. Discordianism follows
the writings in the Principia Discordia, which heaps on the wisdom. Of
course, not much of it makes any sense. It is full of contradictions, things
that don't make any sense, and outright silliness.
This is, in effect, what religions are.
Take the Bible, for instance. There's a book filled with contradictions,
things that don't make any sense, and outright silliness. It's not alone;
take any religious tome and you're bound to find more of the same. The Book
of Mormon, the Koran... they go on and on. Even ancient pantheonic religions
follow this insanity; above, I mentioned that Eris and Ares were twins, but
that depends on what version of the mythology you read. Greek mythology is
full of inconsistencies, particularly in the genealogy department.
How Does Eris Relate to Discordianism?
Eris is the matron goddess of Discordianism. She is who we follow and
worship. In the spirit of Eris being the goddess of discord and confusion,
Discordianism reveres the idea that chaos and disharmony are as important as
order and harmony, and should thus be recognized.
Many people think that Discordianism is
pure nonsense, and it may well be... but so are other religions. At least
with Discordianism, in the midst of all rules we're told to follow, there is
one rule that tells us the key point: Don't believe anything you read.
This, of course, relieves us of all the stuff we're supposed to
follow in the Principia Discordia! In this manner, we can follow and ignore
the Principia Discordia at our will... and that, being full of true chaos,
is the heart of Discordianism.
Who Started Discordianism?
Greg Hill and Kerry Thornley in either 1958 or 1959 (but Eris has
been around for thousands of years); like any religion,
we can't pin down an exact date. Hill wrote the Principia Discordia.
This Makes No Sense! A religion that was
just "made up," a book written to be followed, full of contradictions and
silliness, with nothing verifiable, based on some deity out of mythology??!!
Yeah... now you're getting the idea!
It's no different than any other religions.
The only difference is that we can have fun with it, enjoy some
philosophical introspection, ponder the workings of the Universe, and have
fun.
But the greatest part? We don't live
it. At the end of the day, it really is just a book of nonsense, and Eris
isn't real, and we can ignore everything we read including the parts we're
supposed to pay attention to and follow.
And that is how you can be an Atheist and
worship Eris. You just really don't do it.
And it's fun! |
