The Argument Over
Gay Marriage
by David M.
FitzpatrickIt's January 2004
as I write this,
the day after President Bush gave his discouraging State of the Union
address. It's bad enough to have all this fighting over the subject of
gay marriage... but now he's gone as far to suggest a
Constitutional
amendment prohibiting gay marriage.
The Problem
*SNIFF!* *SNIFF!* What's that smell? Oh my...
it's the smell of fear... fear by the Xian nuts that the rest of the world
isn't going to succumb to their vision of an Xian dictatorship in the United
States. A religious meatball of a president is now resorting to
bullying society—threatening to amend the Constitution to prevent what the Xians perceive as immoral people enjoying the same quality of life they do. By "immoral people," of course, I mean "those who are not Xians... or at
least not the same Xians as I am"; because, as we all know, Xianity is all
about hundreds of splinter groups who all think the others are wrong, those
groups comprised of millions of different opinions and interpretations. But they all come down to that one point: "What I think is right; everyone
else is wrong; and everyone else had better come around to my way of
thinking."
But this is an essay on gay marriage. Well, not just gay marriage—the union of any two people.
Marriage: The Xian
Definition
To listen to the Xians, marriage is all about a union of a man, a
woman, and God—that without God, a marriage isn't truly a marriage; hence,
any marriage that doesn't follow Xian values should be disallowed. Yet
Atheists marry... as do non-Xians. The Xians aren't crusading to stop
legal recognition of those marriages. It's only when the absolute
moral pillars of their faith are shaken do they lose their minds. Clearly, the idea of same sex marriages shake those pillars.
Okay, we don't have to agree with it; but
perhaps we can see it from their perspectives: homosexuality, they believe
is a mortal sin. But what about those ten teensy little nuisances
known as the Ten Commandments? They're the Ten Big Ones—the ten
really important things that, above all other things, must be obeyed and not
deviated from... lying, stealing, coveting, murdering.
Now I'm willing to bet that every single
person alive, Xian or not, has lied and coveted. I bet most have
stolen (come on, you did it... you know you did... you stole your brother's
toy or grabbed your friend's dollar bill or lifted a piece of candy at the
store. If you insist you never did, you're doing that lying
commandment again). So... do we deny marriage to opposite sex couples
simply because they've lied or coveted?
Now back to Atheism. The Xians aren't
screaming about Atheists being disallowed marriage. Yet they claim
marriage is a powerful Xian thing. It's powerful enough to scream
about homosexuals marrying... but not about Atheists? I know quite a
few Xians who are homosexuals... so doesn't it seem they should be tolerated
in marriage far more than godless Atheists like me?
It's all about what they feel empowered to
scream and yell and stomp their feet over, I guess.
Dictionary
Definitions
So the Xians tell us that marriage is, inherently, an Xian
institution, and should follow all the tenets of Xian philosophy and other
bullsh1t. But let's look at what several dictionaries have to say
about marriage.
- The American Heritage® Dictionary of
the English Language, Third Edition, © 1996, defines marriage as "the
legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife." Key words: LEGAL UNION. Of course, it does say "HUSBAND AND WIFE" which is what
marriage legally is, as a general rule, in this country. But it
never mentions that marriage is a spiritual, holy, religious thing.
- Merriam-Webster's Online Dictionary
says marriage is "the mutual relation of husband and wife." A
second definition says it is "the institution whereby men and women are
joined in a special kind of social and legal dependence for the purpose of
founding and maintaining a family." HUSBAND AND WIFE... MEN AND
WOMEN... not just TWO PEOPLE. But it does refer to marriage as a
social and legal thing.
- Dictionary.com is moving with the
times: marriage is "the legal union of a man and woman as husband and
wife" but it is also "a common-law marriage" and, most importantly, "a
union between two persons having the customary but usually not the legal
force of marriage: a same-sex marriage."
Most other
dictionaries echo the same sentiments; most talk about a man and a woman,
but most talk of the legal joining of two people. None of them mention Xianity at all. That's because marriage is, in fact, a legal union,
recognized by a government. If the Xians wish to be married in the
eyes of God, it doesn't require a trip to City Hall or legal paperwork being
filed. It requires a representative of the church recognizing the
marriage, going through a ceremony of whatever sort is required, and that's
it. So why do Xians file the paperwork? Tax breaks!
Financial reasons! Fringe benefits! Not much of an Xian marriage
for those things, huh?
The Xian Conundrum (or several conundrums)
If the Xians want to argue same sex marriages, they should argue
against their church representatives performing them—not against the legal
recognition by the government. After all, a church representative is
not required to form a legal marriage in this country—anywhere. A
notary can perform a marriage, after all, and just about anyone can be a
notary—religious orientation doesn't have anything to do with it. This is because of our inherent freedom of and from religion—the government
recognizes that anyone can be married regardless of religious belief, and
without religious participation. Clearly, marriage is, and has been,
recognized by the government as a nonreligious institution.
If you ignore Xian illogic, the only
justification for special rules, laws, and tax breaks for married people is
because they form a family unit—which is typical of any mammalian species.
But then if you allow that, you have to allow the same things for couples
who don't reproduce... then you're agreeing that two people can be a family
unit without having children—which other mammalian species don't do.
Therefore, who are we to decide that two men or two women can't be a family
unit?
"Well they CAN'T reproduce," some Xians
argue. Well, neither can a male-female couple who is
infertile... should we deny them marriage? What about a couple who
adopts or takes in foster children? They gain tax benefits for those
children as part of the family unit because they're married. Do we
deny them marriage?
Bottom Line
We've determined that, to the government, marriage is just a legal
contract—a business arrangement, really—and that religious implications
have nothing to do with the legal aspects. They matter greatly to the
religious folks, but again, that's why the church and state aspects of
marriage are two different things.
As such, marriage is a legal arrangement
between two people. It's like going into business or making a deal.
It's the Xian undertones to the idea of marriage that have everyone
believing it must be between a man and a woman. Since we must ignore
the Xian implications and consider only the legality of marriage, there is
no reason the government to argue against any two people being married. Whether male and female, male and male, or female and female, it shouldn't
matter. In fact, if two best friends live platonically together and
wish to be married to enjoy the benefits, there's no reason they shouldn't
be allowed to. If their friendship is that important, why not?
As for the religious aspects: if the
religious folks want to object to a religious ceremony for, say, two gay
people, that's outside the state's boundaries. Let the church settle
that internally. But the legal aspects are undeniably secular and
religious debate, complaint, protest, politicking, and so forth have no
logical stance here. (And in case anyone was wondering, marriage was
taking place thousands of years before Xianity was founded—it's not an Xian
idea.) |
