Religious Observations of George
Carlin:
Religious Bullshit
Transcribed by
David M. Fitzpatrick
Last updated
Tuesday, 30 August 2005
 But in the bullshit department ... a
businessman can't hold a candle to a clergyman ... I gotta tell ya the
truth, when it comes to bullshit—big-time, major-league bullshit—you have
to stand in awe... in awe... of the all-time champion of false
promises and exaggerated claims... RELIGION.
No contest. No
contest. Religion ... easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told.
Think about it: religion has actually convinced people that there's an
invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every
minute of every day, and the invisible man has a special list of ten
things he does not want you to do... and if you do any of these ten
things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and
torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and
choke and scream and cry, forever and ever, til the end of time!
...but
he loves you.
He loves you! He loves you, and he needs money!
He
always needs money! He's all powerful, all perfect, all knowing, and all
wise... somehow... just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of
dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more.
Now, you
talk about a good bullshit story! Holy shit!" |
