Funny Quotes
by David M.
Fitzpatrick
Last updated
Tuesday, 30 August 2005
"A dead Atheist is someone who's all dressed
up with no place to go."
—James Duffecy
ROFL! Very cute! However,
bear in mind that Atheists are like Xians in one respect: not every
Atheist believes exactly the same way as others (like Xians, of which
there are countless splinter groups, all believing differently). It
is possible to not believe in God and still believe in "something later"
(but that's another essay).
 "An Atheist is a man who has no invisible
means of support."
—John Buchan (1875-1940)
One of my all-time favorites. (But in case you're wondering, most Atheists I know are proud to not have
that invisible means of support—that we don't require some fictitious
higher power to lean on every time life is giving us troubles. We
deal with our own lives. Any support we have—friends, family,
lovers—are visible. We like it that way.)
"I'm still an Atheist, thank God."
—Luis Buńuel (1900-1983)
Reminds me of something Michael
"Meathead" Stivic, the Atheist Polack on All in the Family back in
the 1970s, said in one episode: "It's times like this I thank God I'm an
Atheist."
"To you I'm an Atheist; to God, I'm the
Loyal Opposition."
—Woody Allen (1935-)
Interesting way of looking at it!
 "I'm a born-again Atheist."
—Gore Vidal (1925-)
Presumably, Vidal was, like many
Atheists, a believer who was brought up being told what to believe, but
came to his senses anyway. I can't find any references to his religious
beliefs or disbeliefs. If anyone knows, feel free to send information to
me.
 "I once wanted to become an
Atheist, but I
gave up; they have no holidays."
—Henny Youngman (1906-1998)
Good one! But we can celebrate
all the others. Besides, what holidays do we have that the
government recognizes officially that are decidedly Xian holidays? Xmas
and Easter are pretty much it, and Xmas began as a celebration of the
winter solstice (and didn't Jesus instruct his people NOT to celebrate his
birth?). My favorites are Halloween (nice pagan origins, and a lot
of fun to dress up and have great parties), St. Patrick's Day (because I'm
Irish and like all the green clothing and cute shamrocks), and
Thanksgiving (where we eat EVERYTHING in sight TWICE... yeah, maybe the
Pilgrims gave thanks to God, but screw him—HE doesn't cook the meal at my
house).
"I always admired Atheists. I think it
takes a lot of faith."
—Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider, Northern Exposure, Seoul Mates, 1991
*snicker!* But true... faith in
one's own self... in one's logic, reason, and intellect. Faith that
the insanity of the Xians will not overrun the world, no matter how hard
the Xians try to make it happen.
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